I am of course talking about my 1970s self. Shut up.
As for whatever the morse code page says, I can honestly admit to not being arsed to translate it. Knowing me, I did it that way because I was confessing something embarrassing about fancying a girl. So good luck anyone who wants to decipher it, may you squirm with hideous spotty awkwardness just like its author did.
The Record For The Day that I can make out is Lucille by Kenny Rogers.